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The Mephistopheles Mall

Fun Novelties from the Gaping Maw of Hell


Well, you're here! Did you enjoy your trip into The Mephistopheles Mall on the twisty, turny roads designed by drunken highway architechts with a penchant for unexpected right-of-ways? Step inside and shop as long as you like because traffic is going to be a bitch getting out of here!

Visit some of these great Mephitopheles Mall shops, personally recommended by Satan!


The Prurient Promotion Pagoda


The shop for Netherworld News logo merchandise. T-shirts, burning brimstone mugs, mousepads, coasters, lunch boxes and even cute little plushie bears, all created just for you by Satan.




Netherworld Novelties

Netherworld Novelties is jam packed with all sorts of Satanic novelties such as Boxing Devil Puppets, pitchforks, devil jewelry, keychains, clocks, gift items and much, much more. If it's evil, Netherworld Novelties has it in stock!






Mephistopheles Mall Rental Office


Valuable retail space available in hot sales location! Shop locations in The Mephistopheles Mall are now up for grabs. Put your merchandise on display before thousands of Hell-bound losers by renting space in The Mephistopheles Mall. Contact Satan for rates and details.






DISCLAIMER: This entire website is pure and unadulterated satire, a parody of Hell's Corporate Newspaper (if such a thing exists). This is in no way implies that the featured souls are damned for all eternity, just like it doesn't guarantee them a spot inside the pearly gates. For Mephistopheles' sake, it's a JOKE, man! If you really want to contact Satan, don't bother writing me letters, just continue on with your present behavior, I'm sure he'll come to you. Every item appearing on this website is a work of FICTION. Any resemblance between characters portrayed on this website and actual, living humans is just a damned shame. I guess we all know where THEY'RE going when they die, don't we? Do NOT believe EVERYTHING you read with your two-digit IQ. You do? *sigh* I suppose someone has to keep the tabloids in business.